Lord of the Sword of the Rings of Shannara

I’m a bit behind on this, but my general annoyance with The Sword of Shannara remains intact months later.

I had actually read this book many many many many moons ago. I was probably in Junior High or maybe High School, and looking back on the foggy memories I remember thinking that the book was.. Lacking. So, when I downloaded the book on MP3 to listen to on my walks to and from work, it was to give it another chance with a more developed less-adolescent brain.

For the purpose of full disclosure, I have not read nor listened to Lord of the Rings. Like a lot of people my LotR experience first was the crappy animated movies and the block buster from a few years back.. While I get it wasn’t 100% faithful to the book. That said, I think you get the gist of the story.

So when I say that Terry Brooks ripped off Tolkein in the obvious and painful of ways, I say this without a grain of salt.

ie: A no one, from no where, doing nothing suddenly gets thrust into a quest that has been brewing for a 1000 years. And with the guidance of a timeless spell caster and an object that bears no particularly special quality, manages to bring down an immortal and formless enemy. Add in ranger prince in the wild, a tougher than you expect maiden, a simple yet devoted travelling companion, and minor sorcerer who corrupts the mind of a local leader.

The only story element that he apparently did not adopt, was making Alanon(aka Gandalf, and wtf? “al anon”?) a force of deus ex machina. He know’ everything, always makes the right decisions (except when it’s plot-worthy not to), and has limited yet unlimited powers to save the day at the last minute.

While I am more than aware of the limits of plot possiblities, I still think that simply taking existing known story components and shaking them up a bit does not qualify as creativity nor story telling. I know that in my own *original* writing, the moment I’m afraid I am mirroring someone else’s work, I don’t just switch things a little. I flat out re-evaluate and re-work. While there are a billion stories I have never read, Lord of the Rings is so ubuquitous that it is the first reference of fantasy writing you go to, to make sure you aren’t copying, even if incidentally.

So, if there was any question, I give the SoS a few thumbs down, for being pure crap. Perhaps the life action movie will be just clips from LotR spliced together in a slightly different order.

Leave A Comment, Written on June 21st, 2011 , AdHap, blog Tags:
Time to catch up – X-Men: First Class – Yes there are spoilers

It is no secret that I have a love-hate relationship with Marvel and DC. I can’t say that I was comic collector at any point, but I have read some, seen many of the cartoons, and have been consistent in watching the films, and I can say that vastly speaking, the stories have sucked.  BAD!

This is not to say that there aren’t redeeming qualities to the film.  They injected a lot of good humor and through that, tackled the issues of super-humans in a real modern world.

Past that, I am sorely disappointed with the story lines, if you can call it that

Okay, that’s not really fair.  A story is a story regardless of how predictably bad. I just figured with such significant resources available to them that Marvel might for once start looking forward instead of always looking back.

I admit that with the advent of the technology (and the interest) to make live action versions of these major franchises, there is a compelling reason to tell the “creation myth”. The first X-Men movie, Spiderman, Hulk, Iron Man, et cetera. Live action of these natures has set a necessity of re-telling the creation 1. To adapt to our real world comprehension of things (let’s face it genetically mutated spider bite is much more believable than radioactive spider) and 2. To give context to the audience that may not be comic book fans.

So once you have set that base line, you can move forward in the story to X2 and (sorta sadly) X3. Regardless you move forward.  Do we need the creation myth behind the creation myth? Really?

And if you are going to do it.. Do you have to do it so very very very badly?

And here come the spoilers:

Kill the black guy?  Really? Did no one think that maybe that might inspire a certain reaction?

If you are going to break canon, do you need to spend time creating loop holes to keep some of it intact? i.e. explaining that Mystique would look young even 40 years later.

A 3 part montage? Are you kidding? And over what?  A week? And suddenly this team is all cozy. Personally after a week I’m only just figuring how much I dislike people let alone finding anything redeemable.

And I am very sorry, because I rather like him, but James McAvoy was one of the worst choices for Professor X ever. The only part of his portrayal of Xavier that wasn’t painful to watch was his “mutant pride” pick up line, which was believable, humanizing, and damn funny. After that it was like watching white Oprah and the Super Hero Make-over episode.

I stand by my previous sentiments.  It’s time to put the franchise to pasture and start anew.  Or at least move forward. Stop telling the same story over and over again in a slightly new and kind of relevant way. Peter Pan syndrome is not attractive for anyone.

Well, at least not to me. It’s been working for Marvel for decades. Not much of a reason to change while the green still flows

1 Comment, Written on June 8th, 2011 , AdHap, blog Tags: , ,
Full Metal Alchemist

Once upon a time, I was a huge fan of anime. With the advent of Pokemon, and Dragon Ball Z, and a host of other trite and near pedophilic series, not to mention 3 grueling years of art school watching socially-inept fan-boys recreate and recreate and recreate their favorite characters, I generally vilify anime.

But like everything there are some reasonable exceptions to the rules

After giving up a good solid 26 hours of my life to the series Full Metal Alchemist, I was please with the story line. It was complex, but had a decided beginning and ending. The “discoveries” at the end were consistent with the events at the beginning, not to mention actually answering some of the questions I had. There were a fair number of predictable (and obnoxious) characters, which I have come to expect of any cartoon series, but there were some unpredictable ones as well, which in my world is breath of fresh air.

And despite my addiction to quality of story, I did find myself paying a lot of attention to eth quality of animation, which I felt didn’t belie cheap production. It was actually a learning experience about my own attention to detail as I looked at the finer aspects of the art. It was hardly a masterpiece, but the style was consistent. It reminded me of a more graphic version of the Air Bender series. ie sharper divisions between light and shadow, crisper lines. Making it not “less” good, but different and likable.

FMA is current streaming on Netflix, but I encourage you to watch only when you have time to commit. It’s 51 episodes long and pieces of information echo through out the series making it more enjoyable if you remember some specific details instead of just taking the re-cap on faith.

It’s is a fair and equitable exchange. As we all know, is the first and most important rule of Alchemy

1 Comment, Written on January 10th, 2011 , AdHap, blog Tags: , ,
Trying to find the funny

I try to leave drama out of my blogs. I’m just as guilty as anyone of occasionally being passive-aggressive to wreck digital havoc against someone who I feel has slighted me in some way, but generally speaking, especially with this blog I try to keep things light and humorous.

But I realized this week that I can’t always ignore the unfunny in my life. And if I don’t address the unfunny in the same way I address the funny, I’ll get vapor locked in the negative emotions. To that end…

Late Monday night while doing my last Facebook pass before bed I saw a friend tagged in a photo, and the lines “Rest in peace”. There are a lot of phrases that have multiple meanings, but that is one that has only one meaning when addressed to a person.

To clarify, Jason fell into that space between friend and acquaintance. It’d been months since I’d seen him and spoke with him, but out and about if I saw him I made a point of talking to him. While we were not close, I would say that acquaintance was insufficient and dismissive to someone I was genuinely fond of. He was a friend.

So, in a panic, I checked his Facebook page desperate for some sign that some how I mis-interpreted something. Desperate for a glimmer of hope. I skimmed backward to the pages of good-bye messages trying to put together a time frame of what had happened.

There was frustratingly little aside from a few “get better messages” from last Saturday and then a single and powerful message; “Jason is no longer with us”.

Like “Rest in peace”, these words strung together in this way have an undeniable finality. I still don’t have the full explanation of what happened, but it sounds like heart failure stemming from flu and pneumonia. I have only ever known Jason as a smiling and laughing happy spirit of a man. My mind rebels against the idea of his final hours. My overwhelming need to understand his last clashes with actual memories.

When my grandmother passed away I got to see her as she passed into a mercifully painless drugged fugue. Even 5 years later I sometimes forget that she is gone, but I had those final hours. I saw her in her last. It is undeniable.

It may be that it is too soon, but I cannot wrap my head around the difference between that friend that I haven’t seen in a while, and that friend I will never see again.

As someone who is usually very good at applying a practicality to everything, including death, this time around I want to find someone to blame. And while I toy with “Fucking Republicans” and “Corrupt Health Insurance Big Wigs”, I find that blame falling squarely on my own shoulders.

“If I had been a better friend then….”

Then what?

And maybe that is what is holding me back. I haven’t forgiven myself for not sending that e-mail that I meant to. Not sending a quick “hi” text. I haven’t forgiven myself for being human.

So, I’ll cry the tears that I need to cry. I will try and get myself to the memorial. I will remember the best parts of my friendship with Jason. His sense of humor. And hopefully I’ll find mine again.

1 Comment, Written on January 5th, 2011 , blog Tags: , ,
GoW III

I realize that my lack of a PS3 and/or XBox360 has left me severely behind the curve of understanding and appreciating that vast awesomeness that video gaming has become.

This revelation became clear in the way that only a 52 inch flat screen tv can show as I skipped into God of War III while some friends were out of town and I was pet-checking and drooling on the PS3 remote (sorry guys, I couldn’t help myself).

I feel like there needs to be a perspective put to this. While I had been hearing about God of War for some time, but I wasn’t actually introduced to it until this past summer. Sure III had come out, but I felt compelled to start with the original to see story development and evolution of the quality of the games themselves.

This was a remarkably good decision.

GoWI – I venture to say “FLAWLESS” when speaking of story. Seriously, amazingly well done story, plenty of puzzles, the just right amount of pixel killing. And a protagonist who so well embodies the values of the anti-hero. At some point my save file got corrupted and rather re-run through 2/3 of the game again I leapt into

GoWII – I was aware of the reason for the title of God of War, but I was not so sure what was going to drive GoW II since I had not finished the first. Kratos, the Ghost of Sparta, the new god of war. Done and done. I was on board. While the combat was vastly the same (few new moves, few old moves gone, and a general change in the way the controller worked) the puzzles were new. No chance of me thinking “oh this is just like *that* puzzle in the first one”. It was still all about push, pull, lift, climb, so-on-and-so-forth, but it required even more thought. But best of all was the new graphics. Game character animation and movie sequence animation were beginning to blur. I no longer was seeing the obvious breaks in the character geometry and bone structures. The monsters seemed slightly less blocky. It was a sweeter eye candy than I had ever experienced before.

GoWIII – I had a few month break until my friends took their next trip. At which point I realized I was stunted in my understanding of how multi-media centers work. Or 7 remotes are just too many to manage. In either case, at first I couldn’t find my GoWII save game. My friend had bought the walk through manual for the games, which was good since previously I had become stuck at one point with no clue how to proceed. But as with the first, I didn’t want to start the second all over again, and so I leaped into three. And my poor mid 30s mind was blown into pieces. Again, I didn’t know where things had left off, though the intro sequence to III was a monument to story telling as it graphically captured in about 5 minutes time all the major events of the first two and dropped me into game mid epic-combat. For the first time, I felt less like I was playing a game and more playing a video game. There were distinct differences between game-play and movie sequences, but there were these hybrid moments that bridged the two. It was the epiphany to me of how far games had really come. I only played III for a day. The next day I figured my way back to my saved II game and continued.

And here illustrates the most powerful aspect of these games. Despite the fact that I have yet to make through fully the first two games before I started the third, I will still end up buying the series and playing them again without feeling cheated.

Because while there is a foregone conclusion of what will happen in the first two, the story is *THAT* FUCKING GOOD that I want to know how it gets there. The conclusion is known. The path is not. All the digital vistas and amazing powers, and super combat moves are secondary to the fact that I want to know what happens next.

So, this is my radiant glowing review of the God of War series. If you enjoy video games, have an appreciation for Greek mythos, and love a good story. These are worth the investment of time and money.

I can only hope that this becomes a bench mark for games of the furture

Leave A Comment, Written on December 30th, 2010 , AdHap, blog Tags: , , ,
That Which is Holy unto Death

It’s not that I have to do this. I would have eventually, but after John gave a review of this movie, I felt compelled to give my own review.

Like John, the 7th book was my absolute favorite in the series. It felt like JK had finally grown up in her writing, and we had an adult story to content with. To compare the silly and child-like first couple of books, the awkward and confusing next couple of books, followed by moody and dramatic, to this place of dark and light, a place where we must put away childish things, and accept the mantle of the adult capacity to proactively respond to the world around us. That is, around Harry.

The movie follows the book with all the accuracy that is necessary to convey a world being tipped on it side. Minor details slip here and there, but in acceptable fashion, and I fully expect the 2nd part of the movie will resolve these details appropriately.

The CGI and special effects are expectedly remarkable as well as the actors’ ability to react to things that are not really there. My suspension of disbelief requires virtually no effort on my part.

There is not a part of this movie that I don’t like. Not the time in the woods (an oft complained part of the book) which feels tedious and drawn out, which I think is inspired as it reflects what the characters are experience, nor the incestuous and soft-pornographic scene with Harry and Hermione, which I found disturbing and uncomfortable, but again appropriate emotions for the situation.

I remain in awe of the murderous insanity of Bellatrix by Helena Bonham Carter, and the wreck of man Lucious Malfoy played by Jason Isaacs. The intensity and professionalism of these and all the other actors are the serious elements that make this and the other movies so convincing and compelling rather than trite and silly like so many other childrens’ books-to-movies.

While never a substitution for the book, I think that this movie is worthy of a watch after reading the book, then reading the book again with the amazing vision put on the screen.

While I have made the decision to stop expanding my DVD library, this movie (and the 2nd part) like all the books will get a spot on my shelf for the sheer quality and enjoyment it brings.

2 Comments, Written on December 14th, 2010 , AdHap, blog Tags: , , , ,
Sorcerer’s Lameness

I am a whore for special effects. No, I’m a cheap whore for special effects. Oh let’s face it I’m a preacher’s daughter in the football teams locker room for special effects.

It is this this not-so-secret-shame of mine that compelled me to rent The Sorcerer’s Apprentice despite all common sense, countless negative reviews, and a brand new feature by netflix just for me called the “Are you REALLY sure you want to do this?” pop-up.

That all said, I watched it. And for the most part, I was bent over the couch yelling “Give it to me!” for all the cool CGI, but when it came to story.. Well.. We all know how I feel about story. I am an ice princess with a titanium chastity belt when it comes to story.

For those who have not seen the film, here are unabashed spoilers. though for them to be spoilers, I suppose that it has to be fresh in the first place.

WHEN WRITING A FANTASY OR SCIENCE FICTION STORY LINE:

1. NEVER EVER EVER, have a narrative that gives away what the movie is going to be about. Best example of narrative.. Lord of the Rings. Tells you about the past and the players. It tells you nothing about what is going to happen, the motivations of the characters.

2. Enough with the chosen one, save the known universe and do really cool things stories. I am not denying the “Hero’s Journey”. But making it clear that there is a “chosen one” and then sitting around for 2 hours waiting for them to come to terms with being the one.

3. Enough with the super nerd chosen ones. And while I concede that Jay Baruchel actually has the voice and natural looks to be a convincing nerd, it’s really a tired idea.

4. Science = Magic? Wrong wrong wrong wrongy wrong wrong wrong

5. Hot chicks in their 20s don’t go for nerd just because they seem “cool”. If they were “cool” they wouldn’t be nerds. Hot chicks in their 20s go after the guys who will give them shit for the low low price of access to their poonany.

6. An out of control magic mop scene? Oh with the intro of the score to the original Sorcerer’s Apprentice with Mickey Mouse? Buncha shameless soulless bastards you are, there at Disney, aren’t cha?

7. Don’t have pointless ancillary characters to try and make a point that doesn’t matter.

8. No.. Not that either.. Nope. Whatever you are thinking right now that is wrapped in “that’d be cool”.. No.. Forget it.. You’re wrong

Seriously, guys and gals in the studio offices. Enough is enough already. Lets try and put out some quality movies for once.

2 Comments, Written on December 2nd, 2010 , AdHap, blog Tags: , , , , ,
Die, Original Story, Die

Anyone who has read anything i have written on this blog stands a 3 in 5 chance of maybe remembering I have this thing about bad stories. I fucking hate them. They make me mad an murderous is effectivelessly cliche way.

So when I stumbled across the brief series “Defying Gravity” I was not mad not murderous in intent for at least 5 discs.

For those who have not seen the series, I won’t ruin it with spoilers. Lets just say that the premise is about a group of astronauts some where in the not far off future who are going on the first multi-planet tour of the solar system. I would venture to say that within the confines of a television series, they approach everything with more science-faction than science-fiction.

It’s hard for me to explain why I find this series refreshing without giving away some of the key aspects of the show, but trust me it is unique. The important part is… It was canceled. Why? Hell if I know. It wasn’t science-fictiony enough? It was ______________ enough. There were ________________. There were no _______________________. Someone got _________________.. There was a lot of ______________________.

I guess from a point-of-view.. that point being from within the crust folds of some church marm’s old testament bible and chastity pants the show wasn’t super family friendly. And no, I don’t think it was something you let your under 12 year old watch. But if you haven’t had the birds and the bees talk by the time they are 12, it’s too late, and they now know more than you do.

Which is probably what did it in. Like Fyrefly and a few other not super-futuristic series before it, there was an adult behavior theme that was not extreme, unless you still think sex is only for procreation. But it was still probably too racy for most people.

*sigh* which is an attribute of the quality of story. Sex that is neither soft porn nor so understated that the characters could be genital-less.

In the long run, it’s another good series with a bullet between it eyes. Probably replaced by some reality tv series.. Something like “I didn’t know I had a rodent up my ass”

4 Comments, Written on November 30th, 2010 , AdHap, blog Tags: , ,
I blame BSG

Arguably, it was X-Men and Spiderman that started the “reboot” phenomenon, but it was definitely Battle Star Galactica that is the original owner of the term. And of course every tv and movie exec in the industries has seen it as the cost effective way to bang out some movies and new series without the hassle..nay burden of actually being creative. It’s much more cost effective to soak Gen X’ers by promising them a rebirth of the Friday evening and Saturday morning childhoods. But only better, with more CGI, and moderately better stories.. okay moderately worse stories… okay REALLY bad stories. But that’s not the important part. The important part is that we watch, say “oooo….. ahhhh”, and buy the DVD/Download/Tee-shirt.

Well done, Sir. Well done….. NOT!

I for one am not fooled by this ploy to appeal to the fantasies of my youth. Because, they are already talking about rebooting Spiderman. And the British series Torchwood.

Really? Because, last time I checked, reboots were something you did after something has gone terribly wrong or after many many many years. Oh wait. Spiderman 3. I get your point.. Carry on then….

4 Comments, Written on November 29th, 2010 , AdHap, blog Tags: , , ,
Bernard 3010

My first introduction to Bernard and the Springbots was during my skimming of J’s existing comic material. Needless to say i was able to categorize them with everything else under “WTF?!”. But given some time to process and realize that I had not missed some huge cultural reference, I realized that i was probably not alone in the “WTF?!” sentiment.

As right-hand-coil and jizz-rag for Larry, Bernard was shuffled off my Z2C plans. I love zombies. I love robots. But I just don’t believe that god meant them to be married. But as J and I started mind-storming the y3cl story line I became enamored with the idea of the pulse-bots as the 1000 year descendants of the spring-bots. However, since Larry was going to figure into the storyline I became convinced that Bernard needed a place. But what would Bernard look like a 1000 years ago. And while I have hardly conveyed (thus far) the age he should show, I was inspired but just what part Bernard could play.

And it will be good

2 Comments, Written on November 24th, 2010 , AdHap, blog Tags: , , , ,
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